places to go and people to see

Saturday, October 20, 2012

(i'm a writer. deal with it.)

i'm sitting.
sitting and waiting.
waiting, but i don't know what for.
i want to know what for.
i want things to change.
change and get better.
better and happier, brighter, like things are finally looking up again.
again and again and again i find myself waiting without knowing
flying over the precipice of wonder
waiting on the edges of life
for something to happen.
for things to change
change and get better
better and happier, brighter.
brighter than the sun.
(our class song is we are young, and sometimes i even want that to change)
I want to meet people
do things
make a difference
a dent
i want people to know my name
my friends
my family
they don't know what it's like
not being able to look someone in the eye and say
i know what i want
i've had that once
i said
i know what i want
and that's you
and he beat me down
love pricks like thorn, after all
and don't i know it
i relate more than i'd like to say
beca is lonely
she closes herself off
and i
i do the same
and i wish i had a jesse
someone stupidly sweet
who told me to get my shit together
but life isn't like that
my life isn't a movie
my life is bullshit
listening to pop and obscure tracks
reading classics and the newest chick lit
taking photos and wanting to learn graphic design
i am stuck in the past
long before my time
but
then i realize
that times are holding me down
i need something more advanced
i need sherlock's mind palace
i need jarvis
i need the stuff of legend
science fiction
but i want the hipster culture
vinyl and tights and mod dresses
vintage is my vice
but my iPad is my best friend
(except that it doesn't have a word processor, but that's okay)
i don't know which way to go.

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