places to go and people to see

Friday, July 26, 2013

HEY HEY HEY I LIKE SOMEONE ELSE OMFG

there's a boy I really really like and I don't know if he likes me back but he just got out of a relationship and I don't want to mess up ours but I also really do because I kinda think he likes me back a little bit but I thought that with the last boy and I haven't discussed this with anyone and I don't want to but I also really really do I just don't know who to talk about it to because he's the person I would normally talk to about stuff like this and vice versa and I think he knows I like him and we've talked about it a couple times before and once he said he liked me, the next time, which was MONTHS later, he said he had very recently but at the time he was dating someone and ughhhhh
relationships are really hard and this one used to be really super easy and it might still be for him but I don't know anymore? like we hung out last weekend and we haven't talked since but it didn't  feel that weird when we talked tonight at a thing and I think that's just how we are and I wanted on a more intense level I guess? like I want our friendship only with being allowed to want to hang out without plans or hold his hand or kiss him. is that normal? probably not. do I care? hahaha nope. like, I think I mentioned in a poem on sometimesrosewrites that I want painful domesticity and while I know that's not possible because I'm fourteen and stuff, I feel like thats the next best thing and GOD do I want it.
and I mean I feel like even if it happened and then we ended badly it could be hella worse because at least we aren't going to the same school next year? like? I wouldn't have to seem him every day or even every other day or even at all if I didn't want to. and I'm gonna be able to find a new group of friends probably and knowing him so will he and they'll probably be very separate groups, so it won't matter anyway? I mean he's one of the people that, right now, I think I'll stay in touch with, but that might not be true anyway.
I DON'T KNOW I JUST REALLY LIKE HIM AND AM TRYING TO RATIONALIZE SOMETHING THAT MIGHT NEVER HAPPEN. 
that is all.
I bid you all adieu, then. 
goodnight.

No comments:

Post a Comment